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Photo blog by Nishant Ratnakar

Best Published Photo of TCS World 10k

Awards, come and go… But they are always welcome.

Tearsheet of DNA newspaper, Bangalore edition dated June 6th, 2011. The lead photograph is of Ethiopian long-distance runner Dire Tune pointing a finger at her compatriot Merima Mohammed for obstructing her just before they crossed the finishing line at World 10K Bangalore. The photograph won me the award for the best published photograph of World 10k Bangalore.

I have been a professional photographer for last 5 to 6 years. And in this short span of time recognition to my work have come in the form of scholarships and fellowships. And I have even won an award for making a short-film! But I had never won an award for photography in particular.

It doesn’t make much difference to my photographic work or even to my belief in visual story-telling.  But recognition to the work is always welcome, and especially if it has some prize money attached to it:).

On a fine evening of July this year, I won a prize in the field of sports photography. I was given the award for Best Published Photograph of TCS World 10k Bangalore, an annual marathon event taking place in Bangalore city. The award carried with it a sum of Rupees 25,000. A good start to the second half of the year 2011.

Awards, come and go… But they are always welcome.

 

(Note: If you like my work, then please do share the link to this website with others. Also, if you’d like to support me in my projects, then feel free to click the ‘flattr’ button at the bottom of the post. Flattr is a social micro-payment system. )

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Fistful of Dreams, the book


 

The cover of the book "Fistful of Dreams: An Adopted Girl's Journey"

(UPDATE: Fistful of Dreams is now available as an e-book for iPad/iPhone/iPod)

Yes! Finally! A year of sleepless nights is now seeing the daylight!

My first book, Fistful of Dreams: An Adopted Girl’s journey ,  is now available online on blurb bookstore. The book is in landscape format (10 x 8 inches) with 60 pages of premium matte-finish paper. This is a self-published venture using the print-on-demand technology offered by blurb.com. Hence it will be sold only online, but will be shipped to most countries in the world. A full preview of the book is available at the store and also at the bottom of this post.

Fistful of Dreams is a self-funded project at the moment. Today, there is little space or funding for long-form photographic work in publications. For a documentary photographer, it is hard to work full-time on any independent project unless one receives a grant or pursues dual careers.

For the last one year, my role of shooting and co-ordinating news photographs at a daily newspaper sustained me financially. This day job allowed me to work on my personal projects, without worrying about my day-to-day expenses. Working full-time with a news daily meant, I could dedicate very little time to my projects. Ideally, I would like to work independently and full-time on social documentary projects.

Internet has been a game changer for visual story-tellers – providing them newer and larger audience – for their work. It has also led to convergence of different mediums – the multimedia, and helped explore a unique story-telling style. The multimedia version of Fistful of Dreams present here on my website is reaching out to newer audience everyday. It will continue to stay there for free viewing for an audience that has Internet access. In doing so, I hope to do my bit  to advocate for the issues addressed in Fistful of Dreams.

The book version is an honest attempt to generate funds to support my work on this project and to reach an audience which prefers to read stories in the traditional medium of print.

If you have bought this book, then you have contributed in enabling me to continue working on social documentary projects. I express my sincere gratitude for your support. If you like the work and believe in the cause it addresses, I request that you recommend this work to others.  Below is a small preview, and the link to purchase this book online. Thank You.

(UPDATE: Fistful of Dreams is now available as an e-book for iPad/iPhone/iPod)


(Note: If you like my work, then please do share the link with others. Also, if you’d like to support me in my projects, then feel free to click the ‘flattr‘ button at the bottom of the post. Flattr is a social micro-payment system. )

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Don’t leave me now

 

 

Moorthy, an employee at an engineering company in Bangalore committed suicide after killing his wife and two sons at his residence in the city. Seen in this photograph is Moorthy's mother waiting outside their home to see the bodies. Moorthy, in his suicide note, blamed the workplace conditions for the extreme step.

As a photojournalist, one of the most challenging beats to work on is the crime beat. It is a beat of extremes. I end up doing work that emotionally drains me out to something that is very mundane.

Ask any committed news photographer —What does it mean to hold the lens on to the face of the grieving or the dying? The answer will most often be hard to come by. Perhaps, it is best not to ask, as you are actually asking a witness to relive those moments— moments where one experiences deep emotional strain while making split-second ethical decisions, moments where the lines between the right and the wrong often get blurred, moments that continue to bother you even if people stop asking about it.

They say that when it comes to ethics, there is never a clear line of separation between the right and the wrong. What exists is moral dilemma and tension. These dilemmas are often resolved on a case to case basis.

While I ponder over the emotional roller coaster ride involved in covering crime beats, I pause for a moment to think about the life of photographers working in the conflict zones. They face death in all its manifestations on a daily basis. I’ve never worked in conflict zones. Most of my work has been in and around Bangalore city.

For me, the hardest part of crime beat is every time I answer a phone call, which says that there has been another suicide in the city.

“Another Suicide?” is always my usual reaction.

This has become a routine over the years.

Bangalore, which prides itself as the silicon city of India, is also the suicide capital of the country. As per the last annual report of the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), Bangalore has the highest suicide rate in the country at 38.1 per 1 lakh.  The number sounds more alarming when one discovers that the national average is 10.9 per 1 lakh. An individual commits suicide under extreme duress. Experts say that it can be prevented through intervention. But how can we find every case and intervene before it is too late? Even if counselling can prevent suicide, how will you convince an individual to reach out to the numerous helplines? From addressing the root causes in the system that drive a person to commit suicide, to even convincing a person to seek help – a lot needs to be done to prevent suicides from taking place. Even media practitioners need to play a role in it.

When the phone call ends, I find myself riding across the city on my scooter, a decade old Honda Activa, my companion in my tough times. The brief that I usually receive during suicides is minimal as facts aren’t clear during the nascent stages of a developing story. All through the journey unanswered questions play in my mind. Who is it? Is it a minor? Or is it a couple? Is it a love story that went wrong? Or is it a family under debt? Gosh! an entire family? What will I see? The bodies? Crowds? People wailing?Or perhaps, people glaring at me and my lens?

At times, owing to the traffic congestion on Bangalore roads, I arrive late to the crime scene. Then I end up tracking old passport size photographs of the deceased and recopying it from the police and other sources. It is a highly mechanical, I must admit.

But when I am on time, the work is contrastingly different. Too many people —police, relatives, neighbours, the curious, the voyeurs, the journalists—  gather around the crime scene. I find myself amidst fellow visual journalists, creating a layer of lenses that encircle the relatives of the deceased. Every move, and every tear drop shed by them is keenly followed by our watchful eyes. There is shock, disbelief and even denial. Their loved one was alive and fine when they last saw him or her. How could the person be dead? It can’t be true! The moment is melancholic. When they finally are allowed to see the bodies, hysterical scenes break out. Simultaneously shutter sounds and flash lights also start working furiously.

Members of the public might wonder why I am doing this. What are all the journalists doing this for? For TRPs? Sensationalism? To sell a story? I don’t know about the rest, but I can only speak for myself.

In my perspective, the main goal in the coverage of crime and punishment is deterrence. Even the judiciary sees deterrence as one of its goals in awarding punishment. In civil society, the functioning of the media is expected to include social responsibility. As a visual communicator, I embrace this idea of social responsibility as part of my personal code of ethics.

When I cover suicides, I want my images to act as deterrent for future suicides. How can I attempt that? I may not be able to find the root causes of suicides in news singles. At best I can persuade ones contemplating to rethink and reach out to anyone who can intervene. People who commit suicide leave behind suicide notes written for their loved ones. So they do think of the people they leave behind. But, do they visualise what impact their drastic step could have on their loved ones? Maybe, they do.

Images have the power to influence people with ideas. In advertising campaigns, the models in publicity images are supposed to represent an intended target audience. When this audience views the advertisement, they are supposed to visualise themselves as the model. The model endorsing the product is the audience, but a lot happier after having owned the product. The model symbolises envy. The target audience is supposed to feel emptiness in life and believe that this emptiness can be fulfilled only by owning what is advertised. The success of this campaign ends with the target audience finally buying the product.

I try to emulate the above idea in images while covering suicides. I want people contemplating suicides to see the images of loved ones of the people who have committed suicides. I want them to imagine the story as the report of their own death, and the sorrow in it as the grief of their loved ones. The thought of putting the loved ones in grief and devastating their lives could be a deterrent. This is my belief. And I work with this goal whenever I cover suicide incidents.

Making the images is one aspect of the work. Getting them to see the daylight in publications is another aspect. The space constraints in publications, where stories and images battle with advertisements, the probability of having these images published is unpredictable. So dejection does set in whenever they don’t get published. It surely is a wasted effort. Time is not the only thing put into making these images. There is an investment of emotions and hope in it. But, that’s a reality which the photographers shooting for publications have to live with.

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Photographs, Autographs and Memories

My mom's College photo from the year 1970.

One of the things that I will thank my Engineering College for, is a circle of friends. Most of my friends have gone abroad to work, or to study, or have followed their spouses, and I stay in touch with them via social networks and emails. But, some of us, a ‘leftover’ group of around 5 to 6, are still here in India. In the world of IT era kids, we are a strange ‘leftover’ to many people in the society

Once in a while, the gang meets for a house-party, where everyone gets drunk all night, discussing  life, ex-girl friends, future, and so on. We have our annual pilgrimage to Goa, but this year we haven’t had one, and I wonder if we will have one soon before Santhu leaves for the States (God bless America!).

Santhu a.k.a Santhosh (a.k.a kitta a.k.a ‘mafia don’), my good friend has been a leftover like me. We have been friends for a decade now. We go back a long way to college, internship, first tech job at IBM, and still remain in regular contact. Around the time I quit my IT job, I took-off on my first photography trip to coastal Karnataka. Santhu had accompanied me on this trip. It was a special trip for both of us as we were going back to our roots, our hometown.

One evening last year, when I was cleaning my wardrobe to make space for my new lens, I stumbled upon my mom’s old autograph book dating back to the year 1970. The 40 years old book, was filled with autographs of her classmates from the College. It was a simple notepad unlike the modern-day slam books which have predefined sections to be filled. Memories have faded, but unbelievably the ink and pencil work in the book was still dark and legible, as if it were written yesterday.

 

My mom's autographs book from her College days.

It wasn’t the first time I came across her autograph book. In the past 29 years, I have found it time and again. And each time I used to be fascinated reading the quotes written in it. Some funny ones like “First comes knowledge, next comes college, third comes marriage and finally comes baby in a carriage” always made me laugh. I always asked mom one question “Mom, you in touch with them? Have you met anyone after college?”

Her answer was always a ‘No’, and that left a burning desire in me. I dreamt that someday I’ll find one of mom’s old friends and make them meet my mom.

She always mentioned that her best friend in College was a girl named Rose Christabel. She never saw Rose after college. They never had Facebook or phones to be in regular touch and follow each others lives. She and Rose lost touch, and last she heard was that Rose moved to Vellore in Tamil Nadu.

That was 40 years ago. The day mom first told me about Rose, I always had this thought – at least once, I should find Rose Christabel and make her meet my mother.

Coming back to the day I brought my lens, as usual I was lost in the autograph book, and kept reading the quotes and names in it. I asked Mom the same rhetoric question, “Have you met them again?”

Then suddenly I read a page and I froze. My heart skipped a beat too. I had gone through that book time and again, but I had never gave a though to that page before.

It read “Best Wishes. Bhaskar Adiga K. Kuppar house, Shankarnarayana, Udupi (S.K)”

My friend Santhu’s full name is Santhosh Kuppar Bhaskar Adiga, with Bhaskar Adiga being his father’s name. The house that I stayed at during the journey to our hometown was called the Kuppar house, and it was in a town named Shankarnarayana, in the present-day Udupi district of Karnataka.

What are the chances that there could be two people with same name and the same address?

I screamed, “Mom, do you know him?”

She had no clear recollection. But, then she went inside and came out holding something in her hands.

A week before that evening, mom had gone back to hometown to take part in grandpa’s death anniversary ceremonies. While cleaning up the almost uninhabited house (few years back it was full) one of my uncles picked up few stuffs from the items meant for throwing away. One of it was an old black and white photograph. He gave it to mom. It was her only group photo from college. Taken during her graduation, it was the ceremonial class photograph.

It was this photograph that mom was holding now.

Humidity and lack of maintenance over the years, had damaged the photograph.Very few faces could be recognised in it. My mom’s face was barely recognisable, but Rose Christabel’s face was crystal clear!

I asked Mom, “Do you know who is Bhaskar Adiga in the photograph?”

Forty years later, I was asking her to be part of an identification parade of faces that were hardly recognisable. She took time sometime.

Then, from left to right, all the names of the girls in her class, she said it in seconds!

But the boys, she wasn’t sure.

She said “Maybe the 5th person from the left, on the top row, with a tie, could be the guy named Bhaskar.”

She didn’t know him that well. His face was hardly recognisable. I had met Santhu’s dad many times, but could not picture his face with this one.

I immediately called up Santhu and asked him if his dad was a graduate from Poornaprajna college (PPC), Udupi? Was he from the year 1970 batch of BSc, Zoology?

He was on his way to Mangalore with his mother. He was amazed when I told him what had happened. He wasn’t sure about his father’s college details at that moment.

But he cross-checked and called back later.

The credentials matched him – Santhu’s dad.

Santhu asked me to email the stuff – the photocopy of the autograph book, his dad’s autograph in it, and a copy of the damaged photograph.

I did, and he replied. He could not believe it.

There where only two Adiga families in Shankarnarayana, and only one Bhaskar from the Kuppar house. It had to be him.

Santhu said on the phone that he saw the photograph. He said it was unclear, but the 5th person from left, on the top row, wearing a tie… he said resembled his dad.

Matched! Both, my Mom’s guess and Santhu’s guess.

I do not know how he reacted there, but I was in tears here.

He said the same thing that I was muttering to myself – “How I wish I had stumbled upon that page at least a year or 2 earlier.”

Santhu’s dad was no more. He had passed away a year before.

I was numb. I always had it with me, but it was too late.

We graduated with Facebook while our parents graduated with an autograph book. Things have changed so much. For my parents every meeting with an old friend then, was a special occasion, a rarity.

My mom and Rose didn’t have the luxury that I enjoy now. I can narrate something so important to me, with you through my blog while I sit at home.

I was late here. All along, I just had it within my reach to fulfill that burning desire of finding somebody from mom’s college days and give her a small reunion.

I slept that night with visions. Visions of Santhu and I getting our families together and partying. We the second generation of classmates ( second generation! and we didn’t know even though we were best of friends) partying in the company of our families. Getting high, getting drunk, and talking about life. My mom and his dad recognising each other at the party, and talking about old times, about old friends, and about Rose Christabel. Probably, Santhu’s dad knowing where Rose is now.

But, I know this will never happen now. That’s it. It left me shattered.

On the brighter side, Santhu was glad to see his dad’s calligraphy skills in my mum’s autograph book. He said he’ll try hunting for his dad’s college photograph at his grandpa’s place, if at all it is still present there. It could be our last chance to have a proper photograph of our parents from their college. Chances are bleak, but we are glad to have uncovered a shared history. A shared history that brought us even closer.

Here’s to you, Santhu. Cheers!

Get all the boys home. We will party one last time before you leave for foreign shores. A bottle of Jack Daniels still lies unopened for all of us – the leftovers.

And for others who are now in a timezone that still reads Sunday, 19th June 2011, I wish you a happy father’s day.

 

A page from my mom's autograph book.

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Notes from the field:Politics & Media

 

Chief Minister of Karnataka B S Yedyurappa and Governor of Karnataka H R Bhardwaj at the KPSC premises for the diamond jubilee inauguration event of KPSC. Wednesday, 18th May 2011. - Nishant Ratnakar/DNA

Wednesday morning coverage of the Diamond Jubilee inauguration of Karnataka Public Service Commission(KPSC) could have been just another event if not for the events chief guests – Governor HR Bharadwaj, and Chief Minister B S Yedyurappa – the two people, at loggerheads in the current political drama in the state. Them sharing the same podium, was medias’ ‘orgasmic’ moment.

Shutterbugs in hordes along with cameramen and correspondents who either tugged at their notepads or microphones, waiting impatiently for the guests to arrive. Rumour had it that the Governor would submit his resignation at the end of the day. And  everyone there wanted a reaction from the Governor to end the speculation.

The CM presenting Governor with a bouquet, started the ‘show’ and the cameras didn’t stop clicking after that. Every movement was captured, to be dissected in the newsroom later. There seemed to be no tension between the two as they sat next to each other exchanging words. For the next one hour, all cameras were glued on to the podium observing the body language and every single move made by the state actors. Every time the two spoke or shook hands, the camera flashguns fired rapidly. And this would be repeated even every time one of them raised a finger to wipe the sweat of their eyebrow.

Then came the moment the Governor addressed the gathering. His excellency spoke of the importance of public service commission, the constitution and the judiciary in this democracy. Every statement he made was analysed by our conspiracy theorists to squeeze any remote reference to his rumoured resignation or even to alleged differences with the Chief Minister. But it were not to be so. And it was ‘game-set-match’ for conspiracy theories when the Governor praised the Chief Minister as a hard working man who puts in nearly 20 hours everyday to his work.

The event came to an end as the Chief Minister made way for the Governor to leave the podium. This was probably one of those rare moments when the Chief Minister got to his car without any camera following him. It was his quickest exit ever as the entire media fraternity had surrounded the Governor to prevent him from leaving the venue without giving a sound byte.

There was a media frenzy  as journalists, security personnel, police, and Governor’s staff jostled around pushing each other in the line of their ‘respective duties’. Tensions soared high as everyone kept screaming at each other and falling over. The Governor finally answered a ‘No’ to the question, putting an end to the rumour as he left the KPSC premises.

Before everyone could come to terms with what had happened, somebody had lost a camera cable, few correspondents discovered their footwear had gone missing, and police officers had lost their badges. This collective sense of loss had united the people who were fighting each other moments earlier.  And it further reached a happy ending when all agreed that ‘our system’ was good, as in a neighboring state no cameras would be allowed within fifty meters radius of the Governor.

The Ice-candy seller outside KPSC had a great day as TV news crew kept going back for more while they went live to update the country with the political drama unfolding in the state. Somebody suggested to him that he should shift to Raj Bhavan Road by evening as Chief Minister was scheduled to visit the Governor then. I don’t know if he followed the advice as I stayed away from the action for rest of the evening.

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